How to Regain the Spark in your Relationships

 If your love has lost the sparkle, then these tips might help.

You were madly in love with each other. The world seemed so colourful, romance bloomed and you decided to live happily ever after. As the years passed, this love started to lose its lustre.

We often see that the enthusiasm with which the relationship started tends to fade away. What happened to that initial spark, to all the romance? Why did the relationship change from intense to bland?

But how do we rekindle the flame again?

“Romance can age like wine- only if you let it…”

Why did the spark begin to flicker?

Are you wondering where all the excitement in your relationships disappeared? Do you feel your relationship is getting boring with time? Don’t worry, you are not alone. Here are a few reasons that will help you understand why the spark begin to flicker?

· Lack of Respect and appreciation

When we stay together with our partner for a long time, we begin focusing on their negative sides and end up finding faults. We start disliking them and disconnecting. We start criticizing each other, followed by yelling and fighting. Being criticised by a loved one can be nerve-racking. This can make you lose interest in your partner.

 · Communication gap

Be it a busy lifestyle, lack of trust or any other reason couples face issues when there is a lack of communication between them. There is a wide gap that ultimately affects a relationship negatively. Unhealthy behavioural patterns such as hurting each other through abusive words, criticism etc. can also be the reason to break down a relationship.

 · Missing intimacy

Communication is the heart of sexual intimacy. Physical passion decreases over time, resulting in insecurity, loneliness, and anger issues. To have a long-lasting bond, intimacy is the key ingredient.

 · Taken for granted

After staying together for many years, we reach a level of comfort and start taking our relationships for granted. The routine of life revolves around kids, home and work. Lack of time spent together can affect the quality of relationships.

Signs that the spark has gone

• You have no intimacy
• You have started lying
• You have stopped saying ‘I love you’
• You avoid talking to each other.
• You no longer go on dates, drive alone.
• You don’t give compliments to each other.
• You don’t make an effort to make each other happy.
• You don’t surprise each other.

Steps to Rekindle the Spark

Do you want that passion back? Are you looking for ways to reignite the spark in your relationship? Over time, taking small steps in your relationship can lead to massive changes and help you bring back the spark.

1. Be innovative and put your best efforts

It’s easy to fall into comfortable habits and stop putting forth a conscious effort. Go an extra mile to surprise your partner and tell them that they are loved. Explore new things, go to new places, new restaurants. Remember the times when you were willing to do whatever it took to make a person happy? Now is the time to put your best foot forward to get that spark back.

• Bring the intimacy back

While going through a tough patch we find it difficult to be intimate with our partner. Sex plays a vital role and maybe you have stopped prioritizing it. Sexual or physical contact (holding hands, cuddling, kissing, etc.) can bring couples closer physically and emotionally. Try something new to spice up your sex life. The key to getting the spark back in a broken relationship is to build intimacy, whether physical or emotional.

•  Communicate with each other

A healthy relationship requires open communication. When you know that the spark is fading, you need to talk to your partner to get rid of that layer of misunderstandings. Get to know your partner emotionally. Have a deep, honest conversation not just about the daily stuff (kids, work, etc.) but also about the grey areas.

• Reminisce the old times

Recall the time when you both met, funny stories, old memories of all the stuff that you did together. In the early days of your relationship, you probably looked forward to getting ready for each date with your partner. Recreate this feeling of anticipation by inviting them to a date night, flirting with them, giving surprises, and remembering the activities you did together, the places you visited. It might bring back lost emotions and feelings.

• Appreciate each other

Don’t forget to appreciate the efforts of each other. Words are powerful, and sometimes they’re all you need to rekindle the chemistry in a relationship. Show gratitude, appreciate each other, and say “I love you” whenever you get a chance. Tell your partner that you are proud of them. Make all this your daily practice and get your love life back on track.

•  Be yourself

In the process of trying to figure out how to get the spark back in a broken relationship, don’t forget to enjoy your own life. Spend time with friends and family, travel, fulfil your hobbies, do what makes you happy. Be yourself. Remember, your relationship is a part of you, not your whole life. So don’t forget to love and pamper yourself.

Learning how to rekindle a relationship is not easy. It takes time, patience, motivation and a lot of effort to build a healthy relationship. Relationships sometimes need professional support like a marriage counsellor or therapist to help the partners navigate challenging moments. Don’t hesitate to seek help.

The next phase of the relationship can be more fulfilling if both partners remain open-minded and try new things to rekindle the lost spark. And you won’t just bring the spark back into your relationship, you’ll bring happiness back into your lives too!