Relationships are the bedrock of human experience, providing companionship, love, and support. Yet, there comes a time in many relationships when the healthiest option is to let go. Whether it’s a romantic relationship, a friendship, or even familial ties, parting ways can be one of the most challenging decisions to make.
Falling in love is easy, but falling out of love is a more challenging and painful experience. However, letting go with grace can turn a painful experience into a profound opportunity for growth and self-discovery.
Here’s a guide to help you navigate this challenging journey, heal your heart, and move forward with strength and grace.
Understanding the need to let go
Consider the following indicators:
- Consistent Negativity: The relationship consistently brings more pain than joy, fostering a toxic environment.
- Unresolved Conflicts: Persistent conflicts that cannot be resolved despite repeated efforts.
- Emotional Drain: You feel emotionally exhausted after interactions.
Why is the process so painful?
When we love a person, we are intoxicated with strong feelings of happiness. Being in love is like a drug that the body quickly becomes addicted to. It is often said, “Old habits die hard.” It’s true. When we spend time with our loved ones, we develop a habit or dependency on them for our happiness. Letting go rips your soul apart, leaving you wounded. And the scars are etched forever.
What causes the pain?
- You have invested in this relationship emotionally.
- You are co-dependent on your partner
- Fear of missing out
- You are scared of being left alone
- Social issues, family and children
- Memories and nostalgia
Saying goodbye in a relationship, whether amicably or forcefully, can be a painful experience. The more intense a relationship the more devastating the emotional loss is felt upon separation.
Loneliness devastates the human condition and leads to sadness. Psychology says separation can create havoc in your body and mind the same way as the death of a near one does.
Separation pulls and tears the bond that connects us. But how should we part ways?Should we go cold turkey or we wean gradually being friends? Accept that both ways will hurt you. There is no sweet sorrow in separation.
Healing takes time…
Once you have decided to let go of a relationship, it may be a traumatic experience. After separating from a loved one, it’s important to take intentional steps to heal and rebuild your life.
Here’s what to focus on next:
- Acknowledge and accept your feelings: It’s normal to have mixed feelings of sadness and anger, accept it. Allow yourself to grieve, that is a necessary part of the healing process.
- Accept the Reality: Understand why it ended and release the what-ifs. Instead, concentrate on the present. Remind yourself that you still have a future. Your dreams and hopes might have been shattered, but life has more to offer you.
- Create distance: Sometimes people need to cut that person off for a period to heal. Such as removing them from your social media, and making it clear to friends and family that you don’t want to talk about them until you’re ready to talk about it. Getting rid of all the gifts, photos, etc.
- Find a closure: Sometimes cutting off all contact is not enough to help you move on. All you need is a closure. If you feel you will amicably sit in a coffee shop as friends and talk it out to get closure, you are mistaken. Trust me, it will only leave you with open wounds, crying in your car once again. Instead, try writing a letter to your ex, saying everything that you couldn’t but don’t mail it. It is pouring out your feelings onto paper that helps you bring closure to the relationship.
- Focus on Self-Care: The key to feeling better after a separation is rooted in caring for yourself. Eat healthy, exercise. Engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation. Rather, pursue your hobby that you couldn’t do earlier. Trust me, it can be therapeutic.
- Avoid listening to sad songs or those you used to love hearing them together.
- Both meditation and yoga are beneficial, but if you find it difficult to focus and keep thoughts of your ex at bay during meditation, you might find yoga more engaging.
- Try to connect to friends and family. A good change and laughter can both serve as good therapy.
- Avoid using alcohol, drugs, or food to cope. When you’re in the middle of a breakup, you may be tempted to do anything to relieve your feelings of pain and loneliness.
- Seek help or counseling if required. But give yourself time to self-heal.
- Accept that it is Over:
While it’s tempting to hold on to the hope that you will reunite with your ex. But you need to accept that the relationship is over and that it’s time to move on. You may be feeling nothing but emptiness and sadness in your life right now, but that doesn’t mean that things will never change. You are closer to healing with each little step you take.
Additional Tips
- Journaling: Write down your thoughts and feelings regularly. This can help you process your emotions and track your progress.
- Positive Affirmations: Use positive affirmations to boost your self-esteem and remind yourself of your worth.
- Professional Development: Focus on career or educational goals to redirect your energy.
Remember, it’s okay to take your time to heal and find what works best for you. Everyone’s journey through separation is unique, and there is no right or wrong way to handle it. If you don’t take some time to heal, depending on how big the wound is, it can bleed into your future relationships in unhealthy ways.
But by following these steps, you can create a fulfilling and balanced life after separation, fostering growth and preparing for a brighter future.
